This is the 4th and last in the series starting with CAUTION: This is a Book, where Tevy Byrne falls through her bedroom floor into a crazy unexplainable world.
Idea : In book 3, Tevy is returned to Earth, with no answers or explanations of any sort. So this book is about her finding those answers, learning from her experiences, and moving on with her life.
Process : Had a 4-point outline that expanded into an 8-point then 16-point outline at the start, then I went all out with a Detailed Itinerary checklist of places she had to go and things she had to get done. Then I sat down and wrote. Went with the flow. When I got stuck I used my ‘ideas’ file of random quotes, words, phrases, idioms, and cool facts.
Edited? : No.
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Chickens are demons incarnate sent from the lower reaches of European Hell to torment us in ways we could never imagine. For most people, they are content to let the chickens think that, while all the while anticipating a scrumptious bowl of spicy pollo y arroz or ironic oyakodon. Thinking about it logically, chickens aren’t the most threatening choice for demonic rebirth: they can’t fly, they are barely larger than a bread box, and they eat bugs and provide humans and other animals with nutritious meal choices. However, watching them from where I lurk twenty feet away — the cautious way they walk, the glint in their eyes, the muscles in their breast and neck showing at every moment how fast they can strike with those beaks — I am reminded of current studies that are mostly certain that birds are the descendants and representatives of dinosaurs.
If you were a demon who had been watching Earth for eons, and you wanted to be born on the surface as the fiercest creature that had ever lived, you would survey your choices and inevitably decide on one of the fearsome lizards. T-rex, Allosaurus, Spinosaurus, Quetzalcoatlus — a whole host of demons for your choosing. Only one problem: they died out millions of years ago. Drat. Looking for their closest living relatives, you would narrow in on the amniotes branch and find birds and reptiles. Birds are more commonly accepted into human society so they would be a better choice for infiltration, but for torment I’m not sure why they didn’t go with the reptiles. Perhaps they figured — hey, reptiles, birds, close enough. Maybe their map of living organisms is simply so huge, and when looking at it on a standard 2’-by-2’ map, pointing in the exact same spot was just as likely to yield a chicken as a basilisk. ‘Cause otherwise, why not choose an eagle or falcon or something? I put it down to a simple mistake and some ignorance, as all evidence points to poor results in the ‘torment’ factor. Most people aren’t that disturbed by chickens.
That just leaves me.
Is it possible the demons chose chickens as a subtle way to get to certain portions of the population without raising suspicion? If so, they are more dangerous than I thought. I may need to think up further tactics in—
“Tevy! You have 2 minutes to finish gathering eggs, then we either eat breakfast or inhale the ethereal energy around us for sustenance. Your choice.”
No time for further tactics. My growling stomach would have soon given my position away, if my grandmother hadn’t already alerted every chicken to my existence. They turned their heads toward me.
I will not be intimidated!
Grasping the basket tightly in my left hand, I fingered my necklace with my right, and took a step forward. A few of the chickens shuffled in various directions — they are taking up their positions. It’s time for drastic measures.
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